i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
