Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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