I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
