i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
