Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
