Can Purell be used as lube?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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