And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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