So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
