You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
this hospital has no fireball
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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