I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
