i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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