my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
