Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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