Sry I called you an 8
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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