she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
