I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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