You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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