Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
