he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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