Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
