We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
