you have to choose: penises or morals?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
