Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
