nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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