Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
