I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
