Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
