yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
