Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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