It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize