so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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