nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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