I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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