last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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