I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
