I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize