I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
