Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Randomize
