you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
