tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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