i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize