Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
