sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize