wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
honey bunches of taint.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
