Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i think my cat just said my name.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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