Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
