East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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