on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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