That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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