I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
