the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just puked most of my soul out..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
