Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
