mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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