Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
