I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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