it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
