i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
